Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Can't Walk Away Chapter 8

Almost eight months into our torrid, steamy affair, Jonas announced that it had to end. I had seen it coming for awhile, but it still took me by surprise. He and Macy had mended their burned bridges and were happy again. Jonas thought that it was time to move things forward. Again.

Doesn’t the boy ever learn?

Before his announcement, he’d started to come around less and less. At first, it became only once a week, instead of twice or more. And then it became once every other week. I’d prepared myself for this event, knowing and honestly hoping he could work things out with the woman he so obviously loved. But that doesn’t mean it made me happy. So, when he called after a long silence, I jumped on any offer to go out that I could get.

We met not far from where we had first met that rainy night and shared a pizza. Over some homemade potato chips and cheese sauce, he told me his plans and apologized for leaving me hanging.

Next, he took me to help pick out her ring. I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or offended, but at that point, I was just happy to get five more minutes alone with him. Each minute could be my last and that wasn’t something I was looking forward to.

I did my best to try and guess her preferences. See, I’ve never been much of a girly girl and have always leaned towards simple, functional, and unobtrusive. My eyes automatically drifted towards the silver and turquoise lining the front wall, but I instinctively knew that a woman like Macy wouldn’t ever go for something like that, especially not for an engagement ring.

Tearing my eyes from the simple, yet elegant silver band embedded with a mosaic of red coral and turquoise, I sighed and looked at the ritzier, more expensive diamond and platinum numbers in the center of the store.

Amazingly enough, it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. After a brief glance at the case, I saw it. A pink diamond set in a platinum band, surrounded by a fistful of tiny, round diamonds. I glanced at the price and about lost my lunch. I could make almost four mortgage payments for what this one ring would cost. But I knew in my heart that it was the right one.

“Here,” I called to Jonas, who was behind me, staring into my favorite case.

“Hmm,” he commented, rubbing his chin. “Yes, I think you’re right. I’ll take it.”

It hadn’t ever occurred to me until that moment just how much money he had to have. “It’s not too much, is it?” I was afraid he’d think I was trying to break him.

But he just shook his head, smiling. “Actually, it’s cheaper than all the ones around it. You did good, I think she’s going to love it.”

Gee, thanks, nice consolation prize there, Jo.

I awoke the next morning, stumbling around the apartment I lived in, trying desperately to find some caffeine before I left for work. Eventually giving up and deciding on work first, I almost tripped over the package on my doorstep. Dumbfounded, I reached for the small box I’d just kicked and opened it.

It was my ring.

Yeah, that turquoise and silver one I’d found the night before while shopping for someone else’s engagement ring. I didn’t know what to say right then and that’s when I saw the card.

Don’t say a word.

I can’t tell you good-bye,

But I have to let you go.

Wear this and remember me.

Remember, my ass. I might dream and fantasize and whine and moan, but I could never just remember him. His smell, his smile, his touch, his kiss, his everything.

Halfway down the stairs, I smelled his cologne.

At the foot of the stairs, I saw his smile.

In the safety of his arms, he told me he couldn’t ever be without me, and despite his feelings for Macy, that he needed me, that I was the other half to his whole. In hindsight, I probably should have known better. At that very moment, I couldn’t have cared less.

He was back, if only for today.

I missed work that morning.

And I’m such a fool.

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